Anger and addictions

Arrrgh! My dear and the best cell phone ever doesn't work anymore, shit! It has been weird for a couple days (it got wet two months ago and hasn't really got over it), but it totally died today. Now I can't even get it on. So if there are any of my friends reading this, please note that I can't answer to my phone at the moment... I don't want to have a new one - they're all strange and stupid -yes and ugly- nowadays and they all include this useless stuff. I want to have another green Samsung SGH-250, but I guess they are not sold anywhere anymore. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I need to check if I could still get one, or then I have to find a whole new one. This sucks.

I can't wait for our trip! I have decided to take my big camera with me so that I can take good pictures that I can watch again and again when we're back in Finland. I don't want to miss anything! And I already asked Sonja if she remembered where they took those beautiful nails last time and she did! She explained me where it was. I haven't bitten my nails anymore so that I can get that kind of nails, too ;)

We visited my good friend, Iina's comfirmation party today. It was so wonderful to see her again and the weather was just like we all wanted it to be - sunny and warm. I met one nice woman there with who I talked about the dogs a lot. She had told my mom that she (my mom) has got wonderful girls as they talk with people. Well, isn't that, like, normal? What if we just sat there without saying anything? At least I would find that quite boring and lame... It's nice to talk with people, you know. They are nice, they are interesting.

Uhm, I think I'll go and read something before going to sleep. Or I know what I'll read, though - Stephenie Meyer's Twilight. Yet I've read only some chapters of it, but I'll finish it very quickly once I really start to read it. And Iina already gave me the 4th part of the saga, named Breaking dawn, of which I read two chapters today - just couldn't wait. Do I get addicted to things too easily or something?

Iiiit's weekeeeend!

Heyy guys! I can't believe it's weekend again! I have had a nice week, though. I'm feeling myself very comfortable with my workmates and the days at the office have gone well. But weekend is always weekend, you know ;) Still my "boss" was quite funny today. She came and kinda hugged me saying: "Bea, you should work for us." I was like, "Am I already not working for you, am I?" :)) Then she kept going on: "Yea, but more! You know, the school isn't really important! You should just come to us, we want you here." That's why I love working there - people are so nice and close.

It's interesting how easily and fast you can get addicted to something. Nowadays I am totally addicted to my e-mail although I didn't write anything to anyone before. I just keep writing and writing to my friend who's living in the same town, but who I haven't seen now...for about...one week! ;) But it's great that there is some way to contact - and it doesn't cost anything like txt message does - even though we can't meet, like, face to face. So thanks to my dear friend who replies quickly and makes me laugh, no matter where I am. Luv ya!

Hogy van? My mom hasn't canceled our trip (yet!). I guess she can manage in Hungary even though there is a couple snakes out there... ;) And I have spent my evenings studying Hungarian. It's an interesting language, btw.

Oh, I hate mosquitos! My ankles are full of these itchy knots that wake me up at nights. And when I say they are full of them - I can tell you - they really are full of them. I'm not even able to count them, they are so close-set. My legs look like an animal's feet, you should see them. This is ridiculous.

There's also another thing you should absolutely see: my room at the moment. It's a mess. My mom would faint if she saw this. And then my sis got this great idea to come to sleep with me yesterday so now I'm having this extra bed here, too. I knew I would have to take it away so why did I let her come here? Gosh.

Ok, now this sounds like I'm not feeling good at all, but I actually am. I just don't know why. I'll put my radio on and start to clean up my room so that someone can come here yet some day... Oh, and I got this information about getting in to Porvoo's college, but I'll just stay here in Loviisa if someone's intrested to know.

Have a nice weekend you all! :) At least I'll have one.

Remember, just be yourself.

Geez I had soo much fun today! I spent such great time with my best friend who has taught me something very important. You know, like, how to be or behave when hanging out with the friends. I realized I'm kind of relaxed nowadays, when I always used to be so nervous and almost hated being with them. Not exactly hated being with them, but I hated that hell sticky situation. I don't know why was that. But I think that might be because of the same old part people keep asking everytime - "What would you like to do?". And you ask that question every single time you meet your friend knowing what the answer will be like, it's "I don't know" or "you should decide" almost everytime. It's just this manner people have learnt to use it without the question's own meaning. Do you get what I mean?

Well, today we talked about the things we always talk about, I designed a new layout for my personal site and she helped me, I played the piano and stuff. And we had so much fun! With her I can do anything I want to, whenever I want to without being ashamed. But not only that, with a good friend I am also able to do things I'd normally hate - like cleaning up or something. That's the way hanging out with the friends should be.

And why I'm talking about this, you must be wondering now. Well, I have stopped asking any questions like that and just started to be myself. You know, I don't have to be anything else, I don't have to serve my friends or anything. Nowadays I'm just like "relax and make yourself feel like at home", "let's talk" or something. There's no need to do anything really but just hang around. If that ain't OK with my friends...well, I'm sorry - I can't help it! And that's what my best friend has taught me. Just be yourself, you don't have to be anyone or anything else. Because you're good. We all are.

Happiness...what's that?

Hiii. I just published my very new personal blog and decided to write it in English. I actually don't know why, I guess it's just for a change, you know. The blog carries the name of the 6th song I've made by myself. I think it was describing enough, wasn't it? Or how on Earth could you know. I mean, can you seriously tell me you know who I am? ;)

I just had to tell you (who ever you happen to be) about this evening, 'cause I think it was pretty surprising in some strange way. You know, after a long, long day at work (yea, I'm working at this communication office in Loviisa throughout June) I was pretty tired when I finally got back home... I still had to lead these agility trainings later in the evening which somehow didn't really inspire me. No, not today, after the work and stuff. But ofc I went there and I'm glad I did! Even though it was rainy all time throughout those two hours, but the students (if you can name them like that) were great! Almost everyone had come to the trainings no matter what the weather was like and they had all got better. I mean, there's nothing that shows that your methods work better than that. And we're having this great team spirit in the group that totally lifts up everyone of us. That's just great!

I was so happy I laughed aloud when walking home after those two hours. Happiness can be just little things you normally wouldn't even notice. Like, walking back home after this long day, hair, clothes, face, the dog, you know - all wet, but laughing honestly.

And lastly the best news of the week - my best friend has come home from her summer cottage, finally! I have missed her soooo much, and now we can meet again and talk about...well, that's a secret I'll never tell...

xoxo Bea :]