No-life for the others, life from my point of view

Hi! I just came in from a walk with my dog and I have to say - what a weather! I don't know if I have even seen or felt weather like that, it was fabulous. There were some very heavy clouds, you could almost feel them touching your back with their electricity - and the colour of them! I guess there's not even a word to describe the colour of them but it was something between lilac, blue, black, grey and purple. Just fantastic. But no thunder, no storm, just couple raindrops falling down from the massive sky. I really enjoyed the walk. The only thing I'm more interested about is that where the other people were. There was absolutely no-one outside. Like time would have been stopped. There were no humen, no animals, no cars. Even the lights in all houses were switched off. And I can tell you - that really was weird, since it wasn't that late. What a pity, I was the only person who was outside to enjoy that moment.

I haven't really been here, I mean, in Blogger. Maybe it's because I'm a bit no-life again, like I knew I would, after visiting Hungary again. I don't go anywhere, I don't do anything...I just am. Well okay, I dream about living in Hungary some day, or even visiting it soon again. I have got my enthusiasm to study Hungarian again, so this no-lifeness has been good for me, too. Last weekend I went on over ten pages in my exercise book. I don't know, I'm just a girl who dreams her life away. Maybe it's not good, maybe it is. Maybe it's just a way to manage.

I have to go to bed now, but if someone's interested in this kind of dream world, please start from listening to a Hungarian band called Nox. You find some great songs of them from Youtube, like, Legyen, Még egy perc, Időntúl and Javítsd a hibát. And making myself more no-life: I sing all the songs of the album every day - yes, in Hungarian! It's a whole fun!

Is it possible...

...to feel all the emotions at the same time? I bet it is. I'm excited, I'm scared, I'm angry and happy. I feel fine and confused, frustrated and sad. I want to leave the country and still I miss it. I'm also eager to see the Csorba family in Hungary for the first time in two years, but I'm afraid I'll be as out of my mind as I was those two years ago as we came back home. You see? This is it: Don't you worry too early - but I do.

Anyways - I just started my holidays :)) I had my last day at work today (which was kinda relaxing - I had no work to do so I just surfed on the Internet) and we took our cavaliers to the cottage so that my grandparents can take care of them during our trip. Rilla is already taken to its breeder, too.

So we're leaving tomorrow. Somehow I can't even realize it yet. It must be fucking cool to go by plane again - I love it! But there's one thing I'm more scared of than anything: the safety control at the airport! Nothing is as scary as it is. But yea, I have to confess that they've got me once, but I didn't do it on a purpose. I was just a little kid and I had scissors in my hand luggage so that I could have created something fun (u know the things the kids do with notebooks and pencils and a roll of tape for example) on the plane...but they took my bag and told me to get those scissors away from there, which I totally did, all scared. So I've been very careful and scared with those controls ever since, it was traumatic for me.

But I have some good news! I can have my laptop with me in Hungary! Daddy told me that the Csorbas have this wireless connection with the Internet that we can use freely. Wo-hoo! I mean, I wouldn't need to do anything but move my photos to this. And refresh my blog. And facebook. And twitter. Okay, I know I'm addicted, right.

It's kinda hard to realize that you have absolutely nothing to pack on a trip. Believe me, I just got this experience. I do have clothes, though, but they're all horrible! I can't understand how on Earth I have ever happened to buy them. I guess I need to refresh my mind during the vacation, I rly need some new thoughts!

I'll continue this 'mission impossible' - packing. I bet it's already morning before I finish this. If I ever do. I'll post something tomorrow when the big day comes. I'll walk through the gates and see my deep crush from the previous trip - of which I just got over...

Anger and addictions

Arrrgh! My dear and the best cell phone ever doesn't work anymore, shit! It has been weird for a couple days (it got wet two months ago and hasn't really got over it), but it totally died today. Now I can't even get it on. So if there are any of my friends reading this, please note that I can't answer to my phone at the moment... I don't want to have a new one - they're all strange and stupid -yes and ugly- nowadays and they all include this useless stuff. I want to have another green Samsung SGH-250, but I guess they are not sold anywhere anymore. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I need to check if I could still get one, or then I have to find a whole new one. This sucks.

I can't wait for our trip! I have decided to take my big camera with me so that I can take good pictures that I can watch again and again when we're back in Finland. I don't want to miss anything! And I already asked Sonja if she remembered where they took those beautiful nails last time and she did! She explained me where it was. I haven't bitten my nails anymore so that I can get that kind of nails, too ;)

We visited my good friend, Iina's comfirmation party today. It was so wonderful to see her again and the weather was just like we all wanted it to be - sunny and warm. I met one nice woman there with who I talked about the dogs a lot. She had told my mom that she (my mom) has got wonderful girls as they talk with people. Well, isn't that, like, normal? What if we just sat there without saying anything? At least I would find that quite boring and lame... It's nice to talk with people, you know. They are nice, they are interesting.

Uhm, I think I'll go and read something before going to sleep. Or I know what I'll read, though - Stephenie Meyer's Twilight. Yet I've read only some chapters of it, but I'll finish it very quickly once I really start to read it. And Iina already gave me the 4th part of the saga, named Breaking dawn, of which I read two chapters today - just couldn't wait. Do I get addicted to things too easily or something?

Iiiit's weekeeeend!

Heyy guys! I can't believe it's weekend again! I have had a nice week, though. I'm feeling myself very comfortable with my workmates and the days at the office have gone well. But weekend is always weekend, you know ;) Still my "boss" was quite funny today. She came and kinda hugged me saying: "Bea, you should work for us." I was like, "Am I already not working for you, am I?" :)) Then she kept going on: "Yea, but more! You know, the school isn't really important! You should just come to us, we want you here." That's why I love working there - people are so nice and close.

It's interesting how easily and fast you can get addicted to something. Nowadays I am totally addicted to my e-mail although I didn't write anything to anyone before. I just keep writing and writing to my friend who's living in the same town, but who I haven't seen now...for about...one week! ;) But it's great that there is some way to contact - and it doesn't cost anything like txt message does - even though we can't meet, like, face to face. So thanks to my dear friend who replies quickly and makes me laugh, no matter where I am. Luv ya!

Hogy van? My mom hasn't canceled our trip (yet!). I guess she can manage in Hungary even though there is a couple snakes out there... ;) And I have spent my evenings studying Hungarian. It's an interesting language, btw.

Oh, I hate mosquitos! My ankles are full of these itchy knots that wake me up at nights. And when I say they are full of them - I can tell you - they really are full of them. I'm not even able to count them, they are so close-set. My legs look like an animal's feet, you should see them. This is ridiculous.

There's also another thing you should absolutely see: my room at the moment. It's a mess. My mom would faint if she saw this. And then my sis got this great idea to come to sleep with me yesterday so now I'm having this extra bed here, too. I knew I would have to take it away so why did I let her come here? Gosh.

Ok, now this sounds like I'm not feeling good at all, but I actually am. I just don't know why. I'll put my radio on and start to clean up my room so that someone can come here yet some day... Oh, and I got this information about getting in to Porvoo's college, but I'll just stay here in Loviisa if someone's intrested to know.

Have a nice weekend you all! :) At least I'll have one.