No-life for the others, life from my point of view

Hi! I just came in from a walk with my dog and I have to say - what a weather! I don't know if I have even seen or felt weather like that, it was fabulous. There were some very heavy clouds, you could almost feel them touching your back with their electricity - and the colour of them! I guess there's not even a word to describe the colour of them but it was something between lilac, blue, black, grey and purple. Just fantastic. But no thunder, no storm, just couple raindrops falling down from the massive sky. I really enjoyed the walk. The only thing I'm more interested about is that where the other people were. There was absolutely no-one outside. Like time would have been stopped. There were no humen, no animals, no cars. Even the lights in all houses were switched off. And I can tell you - that really was weird, since it wasn't that late. What a pity, I was the only person who was outside to enjoy that moment.

I haven't really been here, I mean, in Blogger. Maybe it's because I'm a bit no-life again, like I knew I would, after visiting Hungary again. I don't go anywhere, I don't do anything...I just am. Well okay, I dream about living in Hungary some day, or even visiting it soon again. I have got my enthusiasm to study Hungarian again, so this no-lifeness has been good for me, too. Last weekend I went on over ten pages in my exercise book. I don't know, I'm just a girl who dreams her life away. Maybe it's not good, maybe it is. Maybe it's just a way to manage.

I have to go to bed now, but if someone's interested in this kind of dream world, please start from listening to a Hungarian band called Nox. You find some great songs of them from Youtube, like, Legyen, Még egy perc, Időntúl and Javítsd a hibát. And making myself more no-life: I sing all the songs of the album every day - yes, in Hungarian! It's a whole fun!

In the end

Gosh I have to kill my conscience. I trapped on it again, this time it was cds. We bought four cds from Tesco yesterday, all with label "Made for Hungary". Because none of us had never seen that kind of marking before, we started to think if we could export the cds to Finland at all. It said made for Hungary. Not made for Finland or other countries.

As everyone who really knows me probably already guesses, at that point I was all worried and almost saw our family sitting in customs jail so my dad asked the salesman about the label. He obviously couldn't speak or understand English, as he paid no attention - just like nothing happened. So we bought them. At Csorba's I surfed on the Internet and found this relieving information: It just meant that the cds were cheaper. Thank God! Now I can listen to Nox and all these Slumdog millionaire -songs. (The book is amazing, btw!)

I remember the day we arrived here (what a surprise I do) and thought that we're going to spend all these ten days in sunny and warm Hungary. Now we only have one day left and I'm afraid we'll be back third time ;) (fourth, but third time here in Csorba's) I just love this place, we all do. The Csorba family hasn't been home very much, though, but it's OK. We already knew where are the best restaurants located and how to rent a car, for example.

Oh yea, we rent a car for two days and visited the beautiful cities of Pécs, Héviz and Szekszárd and this wonderful village of Tihany. I just love Tihany. The view from there...oh. It's something that you have to see with your own eyes. Those are the times when it's difficult to remember that Balaton actually is a lake. Oh, I can't even find the words.

I just have to mention that this place is home. I have to get here again and again. Maybe I'll move here some day. Mom and dad already found out the university cities of Hungary and what I should study. They said I could study Finnish and Hungarian and come here to teach Finnish in university. Not a bad idea! ;)

Anyway, we'll spend the whole day on the beach tomorrow and leave this place early in the morning on Saturday. I'll write more later... It has been lovely to live here with Polish and German guests and I want to thank the Csorba family for this house, for their kindness and ofc, for this Wi-Fi connection ;) Thank you so much!

A change

Hmm... I lied a bit when I told I would write something on our first day out here. I didn't. Not even on the second or on the third day. But now. I just got these Internet keys so that's why.

From where should I start? At least I've understood something. Something has changed. I have changed during these two years. I remember the pain I've felt all this time, but now I feel like I have just wasted my time. I'm glad I came here. Otherwise I would have never got completely over this. Over him.

Still I must confess that I was quite excited this morning as I woke up hearing this loud noise. It was him driving the lawn. At the moment I realized it was him I was completely awake. I looked out of the window to see him the first time in two years (yes, the way this happened was quite different than I though it would be) and there he was. Wearing exactly the same kind of clothes he wore last time, looking exactly the same. The only thing that had changed was his hair - it was a bit longer. Now I've been seeing him a few times and his face is the same, his voice is the same, his look is the same. Even though this feels wonderful, something has changed. Somehow I find myself thinking: 'Is this really him? I spend so many nights and days thinking of him, I cried for him and all? He's the guy?' I don't think I'm in love with him anymore. It's been relieving to notice this, since I don't think my life will be Hell anymore, after coming back to Finland. I hope this won't change during these rest ten days (only ten days! I could live in here!).

We haven't really done anything yet. It's so hot out here, you cannot walk even one kilometer without sweating like never before. But next week we'll rent a car to see other places. Then I can maybe get a few photos, too. Mom has told everyone I've been studying Hungarian and now they all think I can really speak or write. I mean, I can though, but only a couple words! Still it's been great to notice some familiar words from the middle of the sentences and so on. I wish I could speak Hungarian properly some day... I thought I could come here next summer to work in Csorba's! ;) This place is so nice and they are so nice. It would be great to get to know him a bit more - but just like friends do, you know.

I'll be back in here next week, now I have to beat the family in Yatzy and Uno! Szia and greetings from Balatonszéplak! <3>